Back to the Hospital

Well, we have landed back in the hospital. I took Jaxon to see his pediatrician today and she wasn't very happy with his weight gain. He needs to be gaining about a 1/2 ounce a day. So far, since he has been home (1 month today) he has only gained 5ounces.

Last week we seemed to be going up hill; he had gained all 5 ounces in one week. Unfortunately, he hadn't gained anymore by this morning. I have been working really hard to tackle his spitting up and thought I had a pretty good handle on it, but out of the blue he started spitting up again Sunday afternoon and hasn't stopped. I can't say if this has contributed to the lack of weight gain, but it certainly isn't helping.

Anyway, we are in the Pediatrics unit of the hospital. In order to be in the NICU, you can only be 48 hours or less old so they have us in a separate room away from the sick kids in pediatrics. Also, our nurse doesn't go into the contagious kid's rooms. Fortunately, there are only two other kids up here: one that isn't contagious and one that has pneumonia.

I pray that by working with the nurses up here we can resolve this weight issue. I don't know what I could be doing differently at home, but I hope they can help me. It is really hard to have him readmitted. I feel like I haven't been doing enough to help keep him out of the hospital. I've added formula to his breastmilk and have been feeding him every two hours while I hold him up right. I also hold him all the time so he won't get upset and burn his much needed calories. It's just upsetting when you try your hardest and it just isn't good enough. I realize there isn't much else I could do and that is why we are here, but it is still really hard. I just hate that I can't make him better and I want to know what is causing this.

This may seem strange, but having finally brought him home from the hospital has really made him finally feel like he is ours, not just a little boy we go and visit. It's different having him here in this part of the hospital. Now I don't feel like I can leave him. When he was in the NICU I felt totally comfortable leaving him with his nurses. But now he is my baby and I just don't feel like anyone else knows him like I do or can take care of him like I do.

Alright, well I'm signing off and I will try my best to keep you posted on upcoming results. Oh, one positive of the day, he gets to come off 4 of his 8 medications. I hope and pray this will help with a lot of the spitting up. Who knows, this is really just all trial and error.